CHUCK NORRIS DAY
Olivia Wilde 1984
“I tell my kids that they won the life lottery. Everything they have access to is privileged, so they have a responsibility to conserve resources and to be kind, embrace gender equality and understand the value of their education. If we can raise a generation that thinks that way, I really think the world will improve.”
*Help raise a generation (or remind that person in the mirror) to understand that they have responsibilities as a human being on this planet.
Chuck Norris 1940
“Put your focus on weight loss; get really good at eating right, exercising regularly, and staying consistent.”
Chuck Norris was born feet first. It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord. He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the butt.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person crying was the doctor.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Cesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother’s womb.
When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, “It’s a man”
Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t blow out birthday candles, they surrender their flames willingly.
After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
*It’s as simple as a Chuck Norris joke… eat less and move more. “ELAMM”
Sharon Stone 1958
“I feel that I did die,””
I get to be not afraid of dying. I get to tell people it’s a fabulous thing. And that death is a gift. And not that you should kill yourself, but when death comes to you, as it will, that it’s a glorious and beautiful thing.”
*Make sure you are ready for the afterlife.
Barbara Corcoran 1949
“When you put it on a credit card, somehow in that moment it seems like great value, but when you’re putting cash out — you have limited cash, what you’ve earned that week — you’re surprised at how quickly you realize how much money you’re truly wasting,”
*Use nothing but cash for this entire week.
Carrie Underwood 1983
*Listen to Carrie Underwood while doing her leg workout, which can be part of your “ELAMM”
Jon Hamm 1971 – brown sugar bourbon ham
*Remember “ELAMM” and stick to one slice of bourbon ham and wash it down with just one bourbon.
SNUB – Osama bin Laden 1957 and James Earl Ray 1928
- Improve the world
- ELAMM (Eat Less And Move More)
- Be ready for the afterlife
- Use cash only
- Listen to Carrie Underwood
- Make brown sugar bourbon ham